


The Start

by GetOutOFMyTreeNovice



Series: The Gay Friends Au [1]
Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Abbas is a giant douche, Abuse, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety Attacks, Bullying, Depression, Drugging, Dubious Consent, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Attachment, F/M, Friendship, Homophobia, Kadar is a precious creature to be treasured, Love, M/M, Maria is not nice whatsoever, Maria is scary, More mentions of non con, Physical Abuse, Prison, Racism, Sort of kidnapping, Timeline, as usual, mentions of a d/s relationship, mentions of non con, relationships are mostly just mentioned, stabbing?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-03-13 14:06:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3384455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GetOutOFMyTreeNovice/pseuds/GetOutOFMyTreeNovice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it.” Altair set his hands on Malik's shoulders. “I'll take care of you.” </p><p>Malik looked at him and knew then that he loved him. Maybe it had been before that, but now he knew. </p><p> </p><p>This is the giant epilogue-esque mess where I hurt my babies alot and then fix it for them because I do love them so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The beginning of the beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> This is not a nice beginning, but it is a beginning.

Altair had known Malik since 3rd grade when a certain rat-faced little boy decided to turn his cruel little eyes onto Altair. Abbas was a terrible child with a vicious personality and a heavy hand. When he targeted someone, they almost always ended up with a broken bone and a reprimand from the teacher, Abbas's clever sob stories always turned the authority to his side. 

Malik had fiercely protective paternal instincts because of his little brother and a sharp eye for bullies. He was a distinctly unlikeable child, purely for his blunt and unforgiving nature, but he was loyal to his friends (not that he had any right away) and polite to teachers. Altair was tiny and strange with his big gold eyes and cocky little smirk and his way of worming himself into any small area and sometimes climbing up onto tall things. For example, the school roof. 

It started when Abbas threw Altair to the ground, a stupid sneer on his stupid face. Altair's knee got scraped and was bleeding, but Altair just pulled himself up and walked away (his daddy told him, ' no fighting' and he would listen). But Abbas was something of a sadist and hit him again, snarling something about Altair's dark skin, and out of nowhere came Malik with his even-darker skin and pure fury in his eyes. He landed a solid punch right in Abbas' stupid face and Abbas landed on his ass and stared forward in confusion before starting to wail loudly. Malik glared at him and helped Altair up. 

The teacher came and demanded to know what happened and Abbas tried to spin some garbage lies about Malik beating him, but Altair (ever so strange and silent Altair with his little smirk) told her that Malik saved him from Abbas. Malik folded his arms and refused to defend himself, being ever so righteous in his act. So all three of them were suspended for three days and Malik and Altair began a friendship. They were inseparable. They sat together in class and shared their snacks. Later, Abbas (bigger and meaner) tried to pick another fight with Altair and ended up with a broken nose, Malik staring down at him with hatred and hissing at him to never touch his precious friend again.

They had sleepovers at Malik's house (Altair invited Malik over once, just once) and his mother loved Altair as if he had been hers. Altair spent more time at Malik's house than his own for a few summers. Until his father (red-eyed and angry) put an end to it. 

They spent some time apart, from sixth grade up until ninth. And then suddenly Altair wasn't so small anymore and Malik was the only one in school who could grow facial hair and they only paired up again because they had no one else. 

Puberty (and his father) made Altair cruel and arrogant. He bullied others and discovered girls and the wondrous world of their soft bodies. Malik became angry and more reserved, his glare potent enough to keep most everyone else at bay. He did not discover girls. He had no interest in them. But he kept his interests to himself, leaving the rumor mill will nothing more than a few whispers in the bathrooms. He did not tell Altair. 

Their relationship was more of a convenient thing than anything else. They tolerated each other's presence and their reputations kept them safe. 

Abbas was still a shadow hovering over them, as he'd grown tall, wide, and mean. If he couldn't bully someone physically, he did so emotionally, battering everyone he could get near, with the exception of his few equally dumb and equally large minions. He did not harass Altair and Malik directly (he remembered Malik's dark glare and hard fist), but he did get to them in small ways. He sometimes left raw meat (ham in Malik's) in their lockers and he found it amusing to steal their notebooks and pencils while they weren't looking. 

But what really broke Malik's patience was the glitter bomb Abbas decided to leave in his locker. It vomited rainbow glitter onto Malik and little strips of paper with 'fairy' written on them floated serenely onto the floor. Malik was furious. His face and ears turned red and he marched right up to Abbas at his locker and punched him, knocking the boy on the floor, before he snarled and landed a kick into Abbas' stomach. And another. And then another. Altair was right behind him, silent as always, pulling Malik away. Malik fought, but Altair was taller than him and solid. 

Altair dragged him out to the back of the school to let him cool down and help brush most of the glitter off his clothes. Malik was growling angrily and hissing out threats under his breath, but he didn't feel like murdering Abbas anymore. Then Altair stood in front of him, put his hands on Malik's face and petted him, murmuring soft reassurances until Malik's anger had fizzled out and his cheeks were red with something else. 

“Are you really gay?” Altair asked, his voice low and calm, gold eyes locked onto Malik's brown. Malik blushed and frowned, looking away. “We can't let anyone know. Do you know what they'd do to you?” 

“I know,” Malik sighed. He leaned into Altair, worn out. 

“Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it.” Altair set his hands on Malik's shoulders. “I'll take care of you.” 

Malik looked at him and knew then that he loved him. Maybe it had been before that, but now he knew. Altair hugged him and then they were inseparable again. They had most of the same classes together, so it was easy to fall back into old patterns. 

High school passed quickly. Malik was going to college in Boston (something expensive and prestigious that he obviously got a scholarship to get into) and Altair was attending the one closer to his home. They kept in touch, but only letters and emails and kept the information sharing to a bare minimum.


	2. Kadar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Altair is falling.

Malik's younger brother looked like him. Almost exactly like him. Except Kadar had bright blue eyes instead of Malik's dark ones. Altair saw him around sometimes and it was like Malik was back and maybe he wouldn't be so (lonely) bored. Kadar, however, was not Malik. Not even close. He was thinner and shorter and he kept his face shaved. He was only six years younger than Malik, but he looked so innocent. 

Altair hung out with him anyway. He learned quickly that Kadar loathed this town and he wanted to go live with Malik in Boston. He also learned that Kadar was very, very smart and absorbed rumors and secrets like a sponge. Kadar was shy and quiet at first, but it was purely a guise and he was actually really irritating and a spoiled brat who knew how to acquire what he wanted. 

Kadar was, by no means, innocent. Altair actually watched Kadar steal something, get caught, and then cute himself out of trouble. It was a little astonishing, but Altair studied Kadar's tactics and found that it was his eyes that people fell for. Those lovely blue that was rare to Kadar's nationality. 

“Have you tried to grow out your beard yet?” Altair asked as they sat on Kadar's porch, swinging on the stupid swing Kadar's mother loved so much. Kadar gave him a sly smirk. 

“But then people wouldn't think I'm innocent.” Kadar said. Altair stared at him for a minute. 

“That isn't a half bad reason.” Altair nodded. Kadar grinned and leaned on him. Kadar seemed to need a lot of physical contact. Whenever Altair was around, Kadar would be touching him. Altair didn't mind, but it was so foreign to him ( Malik hated people touching him, other than Altair once in a while), that Altair started to crave Kadar's touch. He needed to be touched that much every day. So when he couldn't hang out with Kadar, he found some girl to fuck and drowned himself in the sensation. 

While in college, Altair found that he enjoyed men as well. And by enjoyed, he means liked getting dicked so much that he almost abandoned the notion of vagina. But then he met Maria. A social pariah, Maria was something Altair had never experienced before: a dominant woman. It started as a one night stand, but Altair never came so hard before he had sex with Maria. So he proposed that they date, at least for a while, and she agreed. 

Their relationship was almost purely physical. He liked to think that he fucked her, but in reality, Maria more or less used him as a glorified dildo. And then when she brought up the notion of pegging, Altair practically begged for it. Maria had managed to turn him into her submissive toy within a few weeks. And she hadn't even really trained him. 

Altair didn't visit Kadar much when he was with Maria.


	3. College

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malik is rising.

Malik spent most of his days studying. College was more accepting of his sexuality, so Malik let himself be known as openly gay. People didn't bother him much and that's how he preferred it. His roommate was a quiet man who didn't bring girls home and didn't play stupid loud music, so Malik didn't mind him. His name was Desmond and he looked almost identical to Altair. Malik asked Altair about it, but he just said he had a lot of cousins. 

Malik enjoyed college life, but didn't go to the parties or many of the social events. Too many people with alcohol breath and weak stomachs. He didn't really date, but he did manage to have sex with a few different men and even tried a woman or two. His heart still belonged to Altair. And he accepted that it would probably always will. 

He was offered a job for when he was finished. The position would pay well and would open up for him as soon as he had his Bachelor's in hand. He would have to relocate, but that was alright. He had no attachments to this place, other than his mother and Kadar. He told Altair he was going to move after college, and Altair took it a little bit too well. 

He was lonely. He considered asking Desmond to follow him around and maybe make out with him sometimes, but he decided it was safer not to. He didn't want to use Desmond for his own sick needs. 

Desmond had this friend. Maybe a friend. A sort-of friend. His name was Shaun and he was a grumpy nerd who Malik was pretty sure actually hated Desmond. But he hung around anyway. They slung insults at each other and acted the very opposite of friend-like. Then Malik started to notice the subtle staring. Just a few seconds more than a look, and it seemed to increase the tension between Shaun and Desmond. Then Malik realized that they were in love. And the tension was wholly sexual. It was an odd dance, but Malik decided their fighting resembled more of an old married couple's than enemies. 

Malik was glad when they finally got around to fucking each other. 

But he missed Altair.


	4. Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Altair hits the bottom. And breaks through.

Maria was not only dominant, but also generally mean and spiteful to everybody else. She wasn't a bully so much as a constant reminder that every one of the big tough college guys could be brought to their knees by a slim girl. And she reminded them if they forgot. 

Her family was rich and powerful in a quiet sort of way. Like the mob. They were a heavy threat that shadowed the town ominously, but never really did anything but that. Maria took care of herself and her friends (see: tools) and didn't really need their help. So they remained an impassible force that stayed silent. 

Altair had a distinct weakness for dominants. He wanted desperately to be forced into submission and Maria flaunted her abilities to make him come nearly untouched. She was not nice to him. She sometimes went off into tantrums worthy of a tornado and hit him and snarled harsh insults at his face that wounded him to his core. He needed what she gave him though, so he stayed. He tried to stay docile and submit to her heavy hand, but it was damaging to his pride and he could not make himself abandon it. 

It ended about three months in when Maria slapped him across his face in the center of a store. It was sharp and stinging and he was so shocked by it that he didn't respond for a few seconds. But then he realized what had just happened and snapped, bludgeoning Maria with his fists until some men dragged him off, hurling curses and insults and calling him a number of names that he didn't really live up to. 

He was hauled off in handcuffs, the sight of Maria's bloody face staring hatefully at him was something permanent in his mind. 

Altair was charged with assault and battery and on the court date, he couldn't find it in himself to defend his actions. He knew that he could not fight (his father's voice in his head told him he was useless at it, but they both knew better) or he could end up killing someone. It was lucky they weren't alone when Maria hit him the last time. He did not look at Maria's face when she testified against him. 

Altair ended up with a year in prison and a fine he could not hope to pay off all at once. The orange clothes were uncomfortable and scratchy and his cellmate was a giant man with skulls and naked women on his arms, who told him he got the bottom bunk and Altair did not argue. 

He tried to make friends quietly, but the constant threat of all these giant criminals kept him down and silent. He made the mistake of telling the truth when asked what he was in for. Three days in and he'd been beaten no less than five times before the security guards dragged the men off him. Altair laid on his bed, sore and exhausted, taking off his top layer and rubbing his chest, the rough material leaving his nipples raw. He didn't dare sleep yet. 

The other inmates did not like him. They named him a woman beater and glares and hissed threats were always thrown his way while the guards were watching, and when they weren't, Altair was often left bloody and bruised on the floor. But he refused to fight back. He could not fight back. He had to keep control of himself. 

Then Altair found out about solitary. He took his tray after eating and brought it down on the skull of the largest man in the place hard, earning a roar of outrage and a moment where he was in the air and guards were scrambling to get to him before this beast killed him for doing something so stupid. But it landed him in a cell alone and safe and he slept easy for the first time in weeks. 

After his three days in blissful peace, the other inmates stared at him as if he were insane and didn't touch him. He walked back to his own cell and even his cellmate didn't speak to him. He didn't trust this new silence, but he was thankful that he wasn't getting his ass kicked. 

Altair was walking out to the main hall with everyone else when he sensed a presence behind him and, too late to react, a sharp pain burst through his side. He dropped to his knees with a yell and held the bleeding wound, security guards rushing in, not to get him to the hospital wing, but to get their hands on the man who stabbed him. And then there was hands pulling him up, pressing cloth to his side and bringing him to the resident nurse, who patched him up in the loosest sense of the word. He stayed a day in the hospital wing before he was released to his own cell. 

He caused another fight to get into solitary again and slipped some money he had pick-pocketed from someone to the guard to let him stay another night. Altair felt so tired. He felt as if he would die in this place if he didn't find a way to end this soon. 

His cellmate had started to stare at him sometimes when he was changing and he would be lying if he said he wasn't afraid of that look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are appreciated.


	5. Love and Lust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malik teaches and learns.

Malik noticed when Altair stopped replying to his emails and letters. He asked Kadar through a text if he knew what was going on, but Kadar said he didn't know. Malik tried to forget about it, Altair probably didn't care about his old friend and Malik should forget. 

Kadar did tell him Altair got a girlfriend and Malik was bitter for a while. Altair was supposed to be HIS and damn it, he hated that some girl got to have him. And he couldn't do anything about it, Altair was back home in White River Junction and Malik was miles away and he couldn't help thinking this was his fault. For leaving without Altair. 

Malik tried to bury himself in his studies, but he could only try so hard when he already had mostly A's in all of his classes. So he took on a tutoring job and devoted a lot of time to helping this guy pass his classes. His name was Edward and he was a little bit dim in most of his subjects. Malik not only had to remind Edward of certain laws of physics (“how are you an engineering major?”), but also to keep his hands to himself. He liked to touch Malik. A lot. It was kind of a problem. And Malik was getting paid for this, and he kept a strict 'no sleeping with clients/coworkers' rule, but it was hard when Edward (all hot and handsy) kept trying to flirt with him or shove his hand down Malik's pants. 

Desmond got pissy at Shaun for something and they spent weeks apart and it made Desmond moody and naturally, he took it out on Malik. It was tiring and Malik would grump back at him and it would end with one of them storming out of the room. 

It became very clear that Altair wasn't going to contact him anytime soon. It had been months since he last heard from Altair. Malik told Kadar to watch out for any news pertaining to Altair, but he still didn't know why Altair wasn't answering. He flipped through the morgue section of newspapers Kadar sent him, just to make sure, but there was nothing. He pondered looking online to see if maybe something else happened, but he ran out of time and had to go to class, thoughts of Altair dying or sick in the hospital dissolving into his teacher's throaty voice. 

Edward didn't grope him anymore, but he still touched Malik a lot and flirted in low tones with a sexy smirk on his face that Malik had to force himself to turn down. It was beginning to get difficult to deny him and Malik's obvious attraction to Edward made it clear that Malik giving in at the end was inevitable. There was no reason why Malik shouldn't sleep with him, other than Malik's own rules, and it was getting hard to remember why he set those rules in the first place. 

“Okay, see this diagram? No, Edward, look at it. Okay, do you understand what it's saying? Stop that. How many newtons of force does it take to move it? No, Edward, look at the damn thing.” Malik knew it was probably a losing battle, but he was getting paid well for this. He tried to explain in the simplest terms, but Edward must have like ADHD or something because his attention span was shorter than that tiny lady who ran the grocery store next to the campus. Malik's timer went off and he frowned. “We can go over time if you still need help.”

“Nah, don't worry about it. See you tomorrow,” Edward sad, giving Malik a dumb smile as he packed up all his books into his bag. Malik sighed, but let him go. He called Kadar and laid back on his bed. 

“Kadar, what do I even do about Edward? He's not learning anything. It's like teaching a brick. A sexually repressed brick that just wants to get in my pants. And I'm not even all that averse to the brick getting in my pants. But he's so dumb,” Malik whined. His brother laughed at him. 

“He can't be that bad. You could just stop trying. And then fuck it out of your system.” Kadar was tapping on something. 

“A brick, Kadar. A brick that might be part squirrel. His attention span is ridiculous.” That made Kadar snort. “I don't fuck people I work with. I don't.” 

“Then quit and then bang him. You're obviously pretty into him or it wouldn't be a question. It's not like you're betraying Altair,” Kadar said. He then shut up after a quiet 'shit' because Malik was just laying there in shock. That was it. That was the reason everything else felt wrong. And Kadar, the little shit, knew the whole time. 

“Kadar,” Malik said softly. “I think you might be right.” 

Malik tried to send Altair another email later, just a gentle reminder that Malik was there and he should talk to his stupid childhood friend. He wondered if Altair ever did get a cell phone and if he could find him in the yellow pages registry.

Malik typed in Altair's name in the search bar and sat there for a full minute, staring at the blaring light of his computer screen, awestruck. He wasn't sick or anything, Altair was in _jail_. For beating his girlfriend. It couldn't be Altair, the man he was in love with for so many years, the one he grew up with. But it was his tiny home town. There weren't many people with Syrian names, let alone _Altair_. 

He called Kadar again. 

“How was I supposed to know that? I don't watch the news. I don't eavesdrop like _some_ people,” Kadar berated him. “Are you sure it's him?” 

“Kadar, how many people in White River do you know that are named Altair? He must have lost his fucking mind. You know that he was all weird about violence. He never fought anybody.” Malik rubbed his face, his phone propped between his shoulder and his head. 

“You have a point. Maybe I should go visit him,” Kadar offered too cheerfully. Malik scoffed. 

“You? Near a prison? With your cute face? Don't even think about it. Spring break is coming up, I'll come up there for a few days.” 

“Maybe I should go anyway. Don't want you to waste a trip up here on something that might end up disappointing.” 

“Yeah, you're right,” Malik sighed. “Just go with someone, okay? And be careful.” 

“Yeah. Don't worry, Mal.” 

Don't worry. Malik did worry. Kadar would go tomorrow and he'd probably get strip-searched by some asshole guard and the asshole guard might notice how pretty Kadar was. Or Kadar would get mugged on the way there or worse. Malik went to sleep after a long time of tossing and turning, exhaustion finally catching up to him.


	6. Down the dark hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Altair finds a sort of light in the world that keeps getting darker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, guys this chapter is pretty dark. Trigger warning for mentions of non consensual sex and mentions of non consensual sexual acts. I promise it'll get better. ilu guys

“La'Ahad. You got a visitor.” The gruff voice of some guard woke him from a fitful sleep where he dreamed of Kadar and Maria and some sort of big black dog. His first thought flew wildly to Malik and his heart rose, but then he remembered that Malik was still in Boston. Another call of his last name and Altair winced on how bad the guard butchered it (fucking Americans) and he got up, grunting in pain. His side was still sore and sometimes it jolted him with searing pain if he turned the wrong way, but it was closed and he'd probably have a scar there. 

He was led to the visitor hall and he was surprised to see Kadar sitting at a table. Altair sat across from him. Kadar smiled at him weakly, as if he knew. 

“Hey. It's been a while,” Kadar started. Altair nodded. “Can I ask what happened? Mal's been very upset at the lack of letters and stuff.” 

“It's a long story. Will you tell him I'm sorry?” Altair frowned. Kadar nodded.

“Did you really do it?” His voice was soft. His blue eyes dug into Altair and he felt uncomfortable. 

“She hit me first. A lot. I didn't mean to, but I hit her back.” Altair said for the first time. It felt like a weight was taken off him and he felt lighter. No one will believe you. “I understand if you don't believe me.” 

“You've never given me a reason not to,” Kadar said. “How much longer do you have?” 

“Five months? Four? I don't know. I lost count. What month is it?”

“February. The end of it.”

“Oh right. Five months left.”

They were silent for a while. Altair wondered if he should apologize for leaving Kadar alone for Maria. He wondered if it really had upset Malik.   
“Do you have any paper? You might want to write something to Malik.” Kadar said, glancing at the guards. Altair blinked. He had several letters he'd written to his old friend.

“Visit tomorrow and I'll give you some.” Kadar didn't question 'some' and Altair was thankful. Kadar left and Altair was tossed carelessly back into the monotonous muck that was his life for now. 

Altair had decided he needed some sort of protection other than his fists. He started to grind the bottom half of his toothbrush against the stone wall while his cellmate slept, the dull methodical sounds of his labor lulling him to sleep each night. It took a while for it to get sharp enough for him to use and even longer to find something to wrap the other end in to make it easier to grip. It was a last resort sort of thing, but it would keep him from dying in here.

He sat on his bunk and read a book that he'd bought with the small amount of money he had saved up. His cellmate was on his own bunk and was oddly silent for this time of day. Altair stood up to go to the piss pot and he happened to glance up at the top bunk to see the other man jerking his cock real slow, staring Altair down in a way that made Altair's stomach turn. 

“You should suck it,” his cellmate said, his voice low. Altair held his breath. No. No. 

“I'm shit at it. I might bite it off,” Altair said, panic rising in his chest. It clamped around his throat and threatened to choke him. 

“You should suck it anyway,” he said, fat hand squeezing his dick unattractively. Altair shook his head. 

“No.” 

“Come here, boy. I won't hurt you if you behave yourself.” Altair closed his eyes and breathed, praying to a god he hadn't believed in for years, begging for some sort of miracle that would save him from this. Anything but this. He'd rather be shanked in the side again. “Come here.” 

Any sort of faith he had left faded. His heart felt cold and heavy in his chest. He went. 

 

Altair woke in his own bunk sore and feeling sick and dirty. He wrote Malik another letter and wondered if Malik would still like him if he knew what Altair had been reduced to. Honor was not something that Altair owned anymore. It was torn away from him like his clothes were, like his dignity. 

In the dining hall, he heard his cellmate talking about Altair's mouth lewdly to the others, laughing at how Altair had struggled to get his stupid dick all the way in his mouth. Altair's stomach turned and he shivered. He knew where this would go. He knew what would happen to him. 

He'd never felt so helpless and alone. He wished Malik was here to protect him. Malik had so much more fight in him than Altair, Malik would never submit. Malik would die before he allowed anyone to touch him without his consent. 

Altair's thoughts turned a different direction, one it hadn't before, and he had a hard time adjusting to this new strange thing that floated around in his mind. Love? Was that was this was? He felt something towards Maria, but not this, this was something warm and comforting in this cold dark place he'd been locked in. Would Malik be a gentle lover? Would he hold Altair like the fragile piece of glass he was and make him feel loved? The Ideal Malik in his mind would. The Ideal Malik would kiss him so gently he'd fall in love with him again. He would be patient and solid and maybe wouldn't mind that Altair was breaking in here. Maybe would know how to fix him again. 

He thought about his Ideal Malik when they came for him. He lost himself in his imagined lover when they asked of him what he didn't have the will to deny them. It was easier this way. He didn't have Malik's fight. He didn't have the iron will Malik possessed. He only had fantasies and his own fragile mind that kept him from drowning in despair. 

Kadar came to see him later in the day and he seemed to notice something was off, but didn't say anything. Altair was thankful. He wondered what possessed him to ditch his friend for Maria. Kadar was too good for him. Something he didn't deserve. (Like Malik) Shut up, he told himself. 

“I'll send them to him. He told me to tell you that he misses you.” Kadar grinned. “He also said not to say it straight out because it'd make him sound needy, but I don't think you care. 

“You can tell him I miss him too if that'll make him feel better,” Altair laughed. It was so strange to talk to Kadar after being with those beasts in the pen. It was like being around wild animals that wanted to kill him and then speaking to a human for the first time in weeks. It made him feel less like he would die in here. It made him feel valid and real again. 

“You two,” Kadar snorted. He smiled at Altair knowingly and Altair wondered if maybe innocent Kadar wasn't so innocent. Does he know something? Altair didn't know. “I should go.” 

“Alright. Kadar?” Kadar was standing up and he turned to look at Altair. “Thank you. For everything.” 

“You're welcome,” Kadar said, his expression fond. Altair wasn't sure what he was thanking him for, exactly, but maybe 'everything' meant something to Kadar, because he didn't ask about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome. I'm sorry for this one.


	7. Unfortunate events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Altair's being a dick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for dub/non con and mentions of kidnapping(?), drugging, and blood.

“He was weird the second time. I'm kinda worried.” Kadar was saying. Malik frowned. 

“It is prison, Kadar. You know what happens to guys like him in prison.” I hope he's alright. I hope you're just seeing things, he didn't say.

“Maybe he'll get out early,” Kadar said, as if he already knew what Malik was thinking. Which, he probably did. 

“Maybe we'll break him out,” Malik said jokingly. Kadar made this little noise that Malik knew was something not so good. 

“You're a genius, Mal. That's it. We're breaking him out.” He was right. 

“Not over the phone, Kadar, Allah.” Malik growled, hanging up on his brother. He realized about three seconds later that was not the best choice, and tried to call him back, but Kadar didn't answer. “Damnit.” 

Malik stood and grabbed his coat, calling him again. “Kadar, pick up, you little-”

“Yes?” 

“Allah, Kadar, don't scare me like that. We are not breaking him out of jail.” He relaxed a bit and set his coat back down. 

“Fine. But we can appeal to a judge to make his sentence shorter or something.” 

“Kadar, I don't think it works like that.” Malik rubbed his face. 

“I'll do some research.” Kadar hung up before Malik could say anything else. Malik sighed and laid back on his bed. He tried to not imagine Altair suffering. He tried. But the image of Altair gaunt and locked away was burned into Malik's skull. His chest ached. 

'You shouldn't have left,' said that niggling little voice in the back of his head. He told it to shut up, that it wasn't his fault Altair was in jail, but he wasn't so sure he believed it himself. 

Malik stood up. A walk might clear his mind. He locked the door behind him and went down the hallway towards the flight of stairs that led him to a set of side doors and onto outside. The cold bit at his face, but Malik didn't mind. He wandered off campus to find himself at a park. There was still snow on the ground, so it was empty, but he didn't really mind the solitude. 

He watched his breath come out in little puffs of white and shuddered when he thought of what they were doing to Altair in there. It was his fault, his fault.. If he hadn't left, if he had stayed, maybe Altair wouldn't have snapped, maybe he could have prevented this. The guilt weighed on him heavily; it took his breath away. He looked down at his numb fingers. If some tears fell, he'd never admit it. 

 

Kadar was searching for something, anything to maybe get Altair some time cut off his sentence or even out of prison right away. He stared at the screen until his eyes burned. Maybe they should break him out. Maybe.. Kadar sighed and leaned back in his chair, rubbed his eyes. It seemed useless. He'd never felt so helpless, never felt such aching in his chest for his friend. He wondered if he could have helped, but he pushed those thoughts away. He knew guilt wouldn't help him fix this. 

Kadar visited Altair as often as he could. His friend was looking ragged, his face ashen and his once-bright amber eyes dull and tired. He had a smear of something on his cheek and Kadar felt his stomach twist. He didn't have the heart to ask about it. 

“There's not really anything we can do. I looked for a long time for something, but I don't know how to get you out of this. I'm sorry.” Kadar held Altair's hand and it felt cold and clammy. “Malik's taking it hard too. He feels more guilty than he should, probably.” 

Altair let out this sad little laugh and Kadar felt uncomfortable. He didn't have a letter for Malik this time. 

“Only three months to go. If you can't make it for you, make it for Malik, okay?” Kadar wondered if he should tell him, maybe give him some small light in this horrid dark era he'd entered. Malik would be angry, but he wondered if Altair would need it, would need something to continue on. “He loves you, you know.” 

For the first time in a long time, Altair's head lifted and he stared Kadar right in the eyes, his face lighting up a little. His mouth opened a bit and then closed and he just looked at him like Kadar had given him the Holy Grail. Kadar patted his hand. 

“Hang on for a little while longer,” he whispered, giving Altair a sad smile. Altair nodded. Kadar left the prison feeling a little less hollow than when he went in. He prayed it was enough. 

He called Malik when he got home. “I might have told him.” 

“Told him what?” Malik sounded distracted. 

“That you loved him. He looked like he needed it. I think-”

“You did what?!” Malik cut him off. He was not distracted anymore. Kadar sighed. 

“You should have seen him, Mal. They're killing him in there. He needed something to keep going or he was going to kill himself or something.” 

“You can't tell him what isn't true, Kadar,” Malik growled. Kadar snorted. 

“You're so full of shit. You can't tell me that you don't, I've seen you with him.” 

“That was a long time ago,” Malik said, his voice a little softer. “I've gotten over him.”

“That's such bullshit. You should have seen his face when I told him. He loves you too.” Kadar sighed in frustration when his brother sneered. 

“Was there a letter this time?” Malik asked, his tone even. Kadar furrowed his eyebrows. 

“How..?”

“His last letter. He said...well, he said some things. He called me a fag, Kadar.” Malik's tone was very controlled; Kadar didn't know what he was feeling. 

“He's in denial then.” Kadar frowned. He didn't know what the hell Altair was doing. He made no sign of being angry at either of them. 

“Whatever. I don't care anymore. You can stop going to see him like you're his little girlfriend. I don't care if he-” Malik's voice cracked and Kadar could tell he was crying. He knew his brother for a long time. 

“Malik, you can lie to me, I don't care. But don't lie to yourself, okay? It'll only be worse on you. I'll talk to you later,” Kadar said gently. Malik made a noncommittal noise and hung up without saying goodbye. Kadar frowned and rubbed his forehead. This was getting to be too much. 

 

Malik stared at the wall a lot these days. He hated it, the stark whiteness of it. The cold, detached way it just stayed there, unmoving. He hated that it wasn't alive, that it didn't suffer. He was a spiteful man. He hated Altair for tearing him apart like this. 

' _I know._ ' He'd read his last letter more times than he'd care to tell anybody. His voice rang through his head and settled an ache in his chest that hadn't gone away for weeks, months even. Altair's hissing voice came through the paper in Malik's hands, the word spat itself at him, ran down his jaw and dripped onto his shirt as if it was really spittle: ' _fag._ ' 

Malik crumpled up the paper for the fifth time and threw it across the room, bitterness and hurt still stinging him as sharply as when he first read that letter. He hated him. _Hated_ him. More than he'd ever hated anyone else; how could he _do_ this to him? After everything. He never wanted to see Altair again. Ever. He stood up, took a deep breath, and went out for a walk. 

Malik found himself wandering around near that gay bar he'd sometimes think about going into but never managed to actually do it. There were some guys hanging out around the entrance, staring at him with a hunger that made him uneasy. They weren't unattractive. He took a breath and moved towards them. They smiled with all their teeth and Malik was sure he saw fangs. They were predatory the way the crowded him and he tried to smile, tried to be open, but he had no energy left. They didn't seem to care.

“You looked so lonely.” He was tall and dark, black hair and black eyes.

“You don't have to be.” That one was a dirty blonde and shorter, wore those surfer sunglasses and flipflops. 

“We'll take care of you.” The last one was pale and his eyes were a strange gray color and bloodshot. Their shark teeth were glinting at him and he knew he shouldn't, but the three of them were close and smelled like cheap soap and musk and he couldn't make himself care. 

The car they led him to was small and shitty; he was crammed in the back between two of them and they had their hands on him almost immediately. It was overwhelming and exhilarating. The dark one had his hand on Malik's dick and Malik closed his eyes and let them do as they pleased. 

They drove him to a motel that looked like he might find rats running around under the bed. The blonde was pushing him along and he felt like he was drunk. He stumbled on the rug, but caught himself and he heard two of them laugh. 

“C'mon, sexy, we gotta get to the room before you pass out.” one said, a strong hand on his arm. He was pushed into a room and he wobbled a little on his feet, blearily looking around. It wasn't as dirty as he imagined. He felt the three of them behind him and one pressed up against his back and pushed salty fingers into his mouth. 

Malik tasted something else and panicked, trying to fight him off, but whatever he gave him was already down his throat and he was coughing, his head spinning. He blacked out soon after, wondering vaguely why they'd drug him when he'd come willingly. 

 

Malik woke slowly, his body aching. His eyes were crusted over and he wiped at them before opening them slightly. The bright light hurt his head. His entire lower body felt sore and dirty and he didn't want to even look at what they'd done to him. He turned his head to the side and a splitting pain ran up the back of his head. He groaned and tried to get up. His body throbbed where it hurt most and his stomach clenched up painfully like it was going to empty itself. He tried to move fast enough to the bathroom, but he threw up as soon as he stood up, his legs wobbling underneath him. He looked down and was horrified to find himself covered in equal amounts of semen and blood. He felt the urge to vomit again and he hobbled to the toilet, dry hacking for a while. He shivered and turned around to face himself in the mirror. It wasn't a pretty sight. He was completely naked and it seemed the strangers were masochistic. He was covered in bruises and he was cut up pretty bad on his chest and belly. He wondered if he still had all his organs, but he couldn't really do much about it now. He felt like an idiot. He was an idiot. 

The shower didn't look all that sanitary, but he was beyond caring now. There was only a bar of soap, so he did his best to wash off everything, but he'd have to wait till he got home to get completely clean. The thought of those men's come all over him for longer than necessary made his stomach clench again. His head was pounding still when he got out of the shower, but he found his clothes and was thankful that they, at least, were spared from the events of last night. 

Malik went out the back door of the motel in case the three hadn't paid for the room and called a cab, thankful when he found his wallet still in his pocket. The overwhelming feeling of relief when he reached his room was indescribable. Desmond gave him a concerned look when he went straight to the shower, but he didn't say anything. He was gone when Malik got out. If Malik had class today, he did not know, nor did he care. He checked his phone to see at least twenty missed calls from Kadar and his heart sank when he realized it had been much longer than he'd initially thought. Three days had gone past. He'd been unconscious for three days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, look, an update! I'm sorry it took so long, guys. Hoping I'll feel like writing more soon. Comments are always welcomed.


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